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blog{stories, thoughts, rants, both true and un-}
- FIFA Power Rankings for World Cup Soccer Team Names
description: A Rose by any other Name
File Under: life
June 9, 2014
- FIFA Rankings for World Cup Slogans
description: Not Picked: We will drive the ball so far down your keeper's throat he'll find it tomorrow in his shoes
File Under: life
May 18, 2014
- Explaining to Mindy Kaling Why Men Take So Long To Tie Our Own Shoes
description: Mansplaining relationships
File Under: life
April 6, 2014
- Late Night with Alex Falcone
description: local late night action without pesky TVs or national audience!
File Under: events, life
January 19, 2013
- Dear President Obama: I'm sorry about the Kenya thing
description: just before the presidential election I set the record straight
File Under: politics
November 5, 2012
- Nutritional Guidelines for Disney Characters
description: Be like Tigger you sad bear
File Under: life
July 2, 2012
- Arizona to Cover Up Grand Canyon's Unseemly Lady Parts
description: World's Largest Nacho Bowl
File Under: life, politics
May 14, 2012
- SCIENCE: Proof Dinosaurs and Humans did not coexist
description: I repeat, sicence
File Under: toys, life, politics
May 3, 2012
- The Gross new Political Action Committee from Rick Santorum
description: Yep: he didn't check the spelling
File Under: politics, media
January 27, 2012
- Publication in McSweeneys
description: if you aren't outraged you haven't read it yet
File Under: life
January 26, 2012
- New Writers! Shake the Multiple Personality Disorder
description: Learn how to write from one POV first.
File Under: life
November 15, 2011
- Atheneum Reading 2011
description:
File Under: events
September 25, 2011
- Leaked Obama Job Plan calls to "Burn Down the Country and Collect the Insurance Money."
description: It works for Detroit
File Under: life, business, politics
September 8, 2011
- To Prepare for Hurricane Irene, America's Mayors Urge Residents of Northeast Cities to 'Start Looting Now'
description: Hurricane Preparation for the Modern Age
File Under: life
August 25, 2011
- Hustings Hustler: Iowa Straw Poll Draws Blood
description: And introducing the NASCAR Suppository
File Under: politics
August 17, 2011
- Hustings Hustler: GOP Rocks the Granite State
description: Learn about the 2nd GOP debate, Herman Cain's weed plan, and all the shadow candidates running to replace Barack Obama.
File Under: politics
June 19, 2011
- Blood in the Sand: the 2012 Republican Primary Candidates
description: Meet some people who really want jobs at Fox News
File Under: politics
May 9, 2011
- Love Advice from a Star Wars Nerd
description: it's not the Force that needs to be with you
File Under: life
April 28, 2011
- Comedy Performance Anecdotal Evidence
description: once again exporting humor across the Columbia River
File Under: events
February 24, 2011
- The Nervous Breakdown: Portland Vs Portlandia
description: Too many writers writing about the IFCs new show
File Under: life
February 11, 2011
- The Nervous Breakdown Literary Experience - Comedy Reading
description: at the Hall of Records
File Under: events
January 30, 2011
- Fiction Reading at Canvas Art Bar
description: reading with Rough Copy
File Under: events
January 26, 2011
- G is for Gangsta: Free Download
description: try before you buy
File Under: life, business
January 13, 2011
- The Nervous Breakdown: My Own Personal Tax Haven
description: I wasn't sure I wanted to trust the Panamanians but I wanted to show Panama that I'm not some punk college kid anymore. I was clearly a criminal mastermind.
File Under: life, business, politics
November 22, 2010
- McSweeney's Article: My Addiction Memoir
description: a book proposal about an addiction I don't have.
File Under: press, life
November 12, 2010
- Republicans Guarantee Tax-free Marijuana
description: Smell the sweet leaf of tax-free freedom
File Under: life, business, politics
November 3, 2010
- The Funniest Reasons You Hate me
description: Video: the most terrible comments about my writing
File Under: media
October 31, 2010
- Listen to the title track for G is for Gangsta FREE
description: the whitest hiphop ever
File Under: media
October 25, 2010
- Announcing October's Hottest Comedy Album: G is for Gangsta
description: Coming to internets soon!
File Under: updates, life, media
October 5, 2010
- You Can't Lower Taxes and the Deficit... Dummy!
description: econ 101
File Under: business, politics
September 23, 2010
- Writing Advice from the First Grade
description: Memorize this!
File Under: life
September 17, 2010
- How to Pick a New Favorite Team When You Know Nothing About Football
description: first remove teams who won anything
File Under: life
September 13, 2010
- Rand Paul's Rules of Rulemaking
description: If you want someone not to vote for you, vote for me
File Under: politics
August 5, 2010
- A Comedy Class Where You Won't Learn to be Funny
description: I promise, not funny at all.
File Under: life
August 5, 2010
- Novelist Signs a Deal with Nike
description: 300 pages in 30 minutes
File Under: life, business, tech, media
July 10, 2010
- Up up and way, way away
description: Article about Captain Freedom's theatrical adaptation
File Under: press
July 2, 2010
- How Americans Should Choose a World Cup Soccer Team
description: a handy unbiased guide (Allez Les Bleus)
File Under: life
June 14, 2010
- Scandal Score - America's Top Game Show
description: Where we see who can handle scandle
File Under: politics
May 18, 2010
- Blunt 18 - Net Neutrality
description: Save the internet?
File Under: media, tech, politics
April 19, 2010
- Fax Machine You're My Worst Girlfriend Ever
description: Sorry Fax Machine. My Blackberry's a cyberbully
File Under: life, business
March 10, 2010
- Blunt Episode 5: Apple vs. Amazon
description: in which I go Hendrix on my laptop.
File Under: tech, business
February 8, 2010
- A Vote for Taxes is a Vote for Having Nice Things
description: Also known as, Don't be California
File Under: media, politics
January 25, 2010
- Voters Head to Ballot Box to Hammer Final Nail into California's Coffin
description: Tax on Girl Scouts must be profitable enough!
File Under: politics
January 12, 2010
- Technology Predictions 2010
description: Also, b00bies!
File Under: tech
January 4, 2010
- Everything You Need to Know about ClimateGate Email Scandal
description: Except the fact that stealing emails is politics masquerading as journalism
File Under: tech, politics
December 7, 2009
- Goldman Sachs Apologizes For Things and Stuff
description: Issued nine-point plan to more sensitively evict Grandmas and Close Orphanages
File Under: business
November 23, 2009
- Moderately Amusing Website Wishes Itself a Happy Fiver!
description: All Day Coffee is now in Kindergarten
File Under: life
November 11, 2009
- Washington Times Startling Discovery: Nerds Like Porn
description: yep, we said titillating.
File Under: tech, politics
October 1, 2009
- Alternative Names for the Public Option
description: I hope they pick the cool-aid man
File Under: life, politics
September 14, 2009
- Unheard of, Heretofore Useless Economic Indicator Nudges Forward, Possibly Signaling Change
description: Nobody knows for sure without further study
File Under: life, business
August 3, 2009
- It's Sleestak Vs SPECTRE In PA Primary
description:
File Under: politics
August 3, 2009
- True Stories at Mississippi Studios
description: a night of embarrassing non-fiction & live music
File Under: events
July 30, 2009
- Anecdotal Health Care
description: Your New Solution in Anecdote-based Care
File Under: life, business
July 27, 2009
- Job Hunting Tips in the Facebook Age
description: Don't Post Those Mechanical Bull Pics. Unless...
File Under: business
July 6, 2009
- How to Become an Iran Expert
description: Persian Pundrity Is as Easy as Setting Up a Twitter Account
File Under: politics
June 22, 2009
- How to setup a proxy for Iranian citizens (for Windows!)
description: did not write- just a reprint
File Under: politics
June 16, 2009
- FAQ on the Digital Switch
description: If you still have ten digits this is totally normal.
File Under: tech
June 15, 2009
- From Pandemonium to Powell's - Montana to Oregon
description: a stop at Missoula, aka chilltown USA
File Under: life
June 3, 2009
- From Pandemonium to Powell's - Minneapolis and Fargo
description: Is that your Accomplice in the Wood Chipper?
File Under: life
May 22, 2009
- From Pandemonium to Powell's - Lansing And Chicago
description: The Tour D'Store
File Under: life
May 21, 2009
- From Pandemonium to Powell's - Buffalo and Ann Arbor
description: A tour of the great lakes cities
File Under: life
May 19, 2009
- From Pandemonium to Powell's - Pandemonium Books
description: hanging out with the Magic and the Daemons
File Under: life
May 17, 2009
- With Graduation Looming and Few Job Prospects, America Asks to Move Back In With Great Britain
description: British Wonders if America Will Start Doing Its Own Laundry
File Under: politics
May 15, 2009
- From Pandemonium to Powell's - Great American Tour d'Store
description: 8 States, 8 Stores, 3300 miles
File Under: life
May 14, 2009
- City Smackdown: Boston Vs Portland
description: Which city can be the victor?
File Under: life
May 11, 2009
- To Combat Image Problems, Mexico Changes Name to Steve
description: You cannot say "Mexico" without saying "sick."
File Under: politics
May 4, 2009
- Free Comic Book Day Contest!!!
description: win a copy of Captain Freedom
File Under: toys
May 2, 2009
- GOP Demands Giant Border Wall to Combat Mexican Swine Flu
description: Media, politicians are prepared to create as much hype as possible to handle the coming panic
File Under: politics
April 28, 2009
- MySpace Suicide Epidemic Sweeps Nation, Worrying Parents, Educators, MySpace
description: Teen Boredom, Poor Layouts Lead to Users Fleeing Social Networking Site
File Under: tech
April 22, 2009
- 8 Ways to Beef Up North Korea Rocket Program
description: Please, stop letting Supreme Leader in the Chem Lab
File Under: tech
April 5, 2009
- How to Record An Effective Podcast
description: First thing: make sure you have a sexy, sexy voice
File Under: life, media
March 30, 2009
- My Stalker In Telecom
description: Running A Business Like A Lovesick Schoolboy
File Under: business
March 23, 2009
- History Obama Could Learn From: How FDR Beat King Kong
description: A Secret History of the First 100 days
File Under: politics
March 17, 2009
- 7 Practical Ways To Cheat Death At the Hands of your Enemies
description: Things we picked up from watching 24
File Under: life
March 12, 2009
- Captain Freedom - Live in Cambridge
description:
File Under: media
March 3, 2009
- Captain Freedom - Live in Cambridge
description: G. Xavier Robillard reads from Captain Freedom, "Forced Out."
File Under: life, media
March 3, 2009
- Ask the Superhero: Unicorn Or Narwhal
description: The serious biologist asks who would win in a fight
File Under: life
March 2, 2009
- GOP’s Boehner Continues Stand Against Wimpy Americans
description: GOP House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-Some Place Where Men are Men, Women are Women, and Everyone Pulls Themselves Up by Their Bootstraps) has criticized the Democratic Party for offering American
File Under: politics
February 26, 2009
- Tech Support Script #15: So You Swallowed Your Blackberry
description: Every Blackberry owner should read this
File Under: tech
February 25, 2009
- The Seven Levels of Nerdgasm
description: A Fanyboy Awaits the Watchmen Movie
File Under: life
February 17, 2009
- Captain Freedom: the Novel, Excerpts and Spin-offs
description: oh yeah there's a blog too!
File Under: life
February 11, 2009
- George Bush Reflects on Last Eight Years as Baseball Commissioner
description: Remembering the Presidential Defiler
File Under: politics
January 19, 2009
- G. Xavier Robillard Wins 4th Annual HumorFeed Competition
description: Oddly, Coffee-related site wins prize with story about... coffee!
File Under: life, press
January 15, 2009
- Ghostwriter Responds to Superhero's Allegations
description: Admits he may have made up some things.
File Under: life
January 12, 2009
- Super Personality Test - What Kind of Hero Are You?
description: Find Out if You Can Be Trusted with the Keys to the Company Nukes
File Under: toys
January 11, 2009
- MPAA Movie Ratings Generator
description: Learn Why the Secret Cabal Really Rated That Film PG-13 - Was it the Hobbit Tickling?
File Under: toys
January 10, 2009
- Everything You Need To Know about Professional Athletes and Guns
description: a brief FAQ so you can better understand the relationship between weapons and professional athletes.
File Under: life
December 9, 2008
- Big Three Automakers Prepare for Awesome DC Road Trip
description: Ford CEO decided Driving his Lexus Sent Wrong Message
File Under: business
December 3, 2008
- A Boxing Day Retail Boycott
description: We should systematically target those retailers who refuse to celebrate Boxing Day.
File Under: business
November 25, 2008
- Franken, Coleman Vote Counting Disrupted by Lizard People
description: Will Reptiles be Our New Minnesota Senator?
File Under: politics
November 21, 2008
- Obama's Diplomatic Skills Threatened by Very Ugly Dog
description: Malia's allergies will be fine, because the Peruvian hairless is ugly enough to clear the room.
File Under: life
November 17, 2008
- Canada Completely Unprepared for Arrival of Angry Democrats
description: There are Coast Guard ships but not nearly enough to stop the Freedom Yachts that are ready to embark from Seattle
File Under: life
November 4, 2008
- Joe The Plumber to become Joe the Country Star?
description: Or Joe the Country Fish
File Under: politics
October 31, 2008
- Conservatives Accidentally Bankroll Obama to Prove a Point About Online Donation Fraud
description: If you want to be anonymous do you have to call yourself Anonymous?
File Under: politics
October 29, 2008
- Ralph Nader Wins Something!
description: but not a 5000 foot sandwich
File Under: politics
October 28, 2008
- 6 Ways You Know Democrats Love Socialism
description: because Joe the Plumber might actually have to pay his back taxes
File Under: politics
October 27, 2008
- Google CEO Searches Obama + Me + Cabinet Position
description: What will Search bring to America?
File Under: politics
October 21, 2008
- The Presidential Candidates' Middle Names
description: I'm looking at you, John S. McCain
File Under: politics, media
October 16, 2008
- Presidential Caveman Debates
description: Yet Another Debate Performance Response
File Under: politics
September 29, 2008
- Understanding Freddie And Fannie: Bloated Mortgage Giants, or Just Misunderstood?
description: Answering the important question: which would win in a fight?
File Under: business
September 8, 2008
- Republicans Become the Party Party
description: The only risky activity the GOP refuses to condone is "heavy vetting"
File Under: politics
September 4, 2008
- Batman Movie Sparks Real Crime Spree
description: We recommend if you're planning to see Batman multiple times, you should make sure a trusted neighbor is picking up your mail
File Under: life
July 29, 2008
- 6 Ways Airlines Could Make Some Serious Money
description: You will have the chance to get a signed photograph of your airline lobbyist in a lovely frame ($100).
File Under: business
July 14, 2008
- 7 Dangerous Technologies You Can Still Use While Driving Under California Cellphone Ban
description: Should you survive the accident, your ability to communicate will already be so hampered by texting that the paramedics who comes to your aid will determine you brain dead.
File Under: tech
July 8, 2008
- Electrical Storms Disrupt Blogging
description: Blogger Determined to Understand Mystical Connection Between Electricity, Internet
File Under: life
June 30, 2008
- Obama Campaign Vets Summer Vacation Plans
description: Attempting to Avoid the Windsurfing Debacle of 2004
File Under: politics
June 17, 2008
- Stop The Presses – Dick Cheney Apologizes!
description: Cheney's gaffe hits on a sensitive topic, as support for the Bush Administration's War on Incest has become critically low
File Under: politics
June 4, 2008
- Osama Scolds Dunkin For Rachel Ray
description: Very few people even know that "queda" is Arabic for "jelly roll"
File Under: politics
May 28, 2008
- Understanding Today's Pirates
description: Do all modern pirates dress like Keith Richards?
File Under: life
May 5, 2008
- Measuring Windows Vista’s Impact on the Superhero world
description: Breaking News On How a Bad OS can effect superhuman computing
File Under: tech
April 20, 2008
- Sex Toy Industry Pays for Billions Spent on Unwed Mothers
description: New welfare programs include free day care and Cadillac trade-ins
File Under: life
April 18, 2008
- City Smackdown: Portland Versus Boston Rematch
description: Which one is better? It all comes down to whether you prefer volcanoes or redheads.
File Under: life
April 15, 2008
- Iraqi Army Replicates US, British Failures in Basra
description: Homegrown army's ability to lose portends US troop withdrawals.
File Under: politics
April 7, 2008
- Stunned By Layoffs, Economists Declare Recession
description: Unemployed economists have issued a statement confirming that the US economy is absolutely, definitely, totally, in the toilet
File Under: business
March 25, 2008
- Vatican Discovers New Ways to Send You To Hell
description: New sins listed by Holy See include pollution, drug abuse, and tailgating
File Under: life
March 11, 2008
- I Also Have 35 Years Experience
description: I wanted a bold new, dry feeling, even if that caused me to sit bare assed on the changing table.
File Under: politics
March 3, 2008
- All Day Coffee takes on the Plastic Bag Menace
description: Telling You everything you need to know about plastic bags
File Under: life, media
March 2, 2008
- Ask the Superhero Vol II: What is a Superdelegate
description: Democrats had a difficult time herding their delegates, for delegates are wily, and prone to blend into the upholstery
File Under: politics
February 26, 2008
- Presidential Smackdown: Action Hero Debate
description: In addition to Chuck Norris endorsing Mike Huckabee, we’ve heard from Hulk Hogan (Barack Obama), Lucy Lawless (Hillary Clinton), and Sylvester Stallone (John McCain)
File Under: politics
February 12, 2008
- The State Of My Cubicle
description: I have enjoyed my time here, or have at least remained alert.
File Under: politics
January 29, 2008
- Baristas Claim Obama's Coffee Not Black Enough
description: Other Candidates Attack Weak Coffee Position
File Under: politics
January 14, 2008
- Writers Strike Cripples Pornography Industry
description: We need fresh titles before people realize they've been watching the same thing over and over.
File Under: business
January 2, 2008
- New Years Greeting
description: Take Care Of Technology
File Under: business
January 2, 2008
- GOP unveils plans For Tantalizing New Slurs Against Senator Clinton
description: Plans include calling Hillary the C-word
File Under: politics
December 10, 2007
- Writers Strike Complicated by Apostrophe Usage
description: The nation dangles like a participle
File Under: business
November 20, 2007
- Understanding Food Labels You Might Encounter At Whole Foods
description: As in a human co-op, any new members deemed unsatisfactory or weak are pecked to death.
File Under: life
November 8, 2007
- Announcing my Earbud Disability
description: Nobody should suffer their earbud falling out
File Under: tech
November 4, 2007
- Utter Wonder Humor Reading Series
description: I'll be reading some pages of the funnies in Cambridge, MA
File Under: life
October 29, 2007
- Using Blackwater Contractors to Remodel my House was a Poor Idea
description: Instead of nail guns, they like to use gun guns, which is really rough on the sheet rock.
File Under: life
October 15, 2007
- Highlights from the SysAdmin’s Keychain
description: What do they have on the mass of metal attached to the fanny pack?
File Under: tech
October 7, 2007
- Storyboarding Bin Laden
description: Al Qada hints at an upcoming Bin Laden video that is mysteriously stalled in pre-production
File Under: politics
September 24, 2007
- Parents Relieved That Newborn Isn't Illegal Alien
description: The small infant looked American, but it would be hard to tell without extensive DNA testing.
File Under: life
September 17, 2007
- Dieting Book Proposal
description: This Ain't Southbeach, Sweet Cheeks
File Under: life
September 11, 2007
- California Promises a Car Seat for All Ages
description: Childhood no longer ends with college graduation
File Under: life
September 4, 2007
- Peanut Doping Scandal Rocks Little League Championship
description: Turns out, boogers had no effects on pitching ability
File Under: life
August 28, 2007
- Congressional Recall
description: Keep the Congress away from small children, as individual pieces have been found with screws loose that may constitute a choking hazard.
File Under: business
August 19, 2007
- Field Guide To Toddler Calls
description: A quick trip to the emergency room should clarify the nature of the problem
File Under: life
August 13, 2007
- Rolling Stone Profiles A Suburban Dad
description: To cope with wild nights, full of screaming and vomiting at all hours he developed a serious substance abuse problem with what he calls the Suburban speedball
File Under: life
August 7, 2007
- Help Wanted: Personal Assistant
description: You're detail-oriented, like remembering what mile maker of which freeway did I crash the car into the guardrail and abandon
File Under: life
July 30, 2007
- iPhone Battery Replacement Policy
description: How to replace the iPhone Battery, which will last a good deal longer than Uncle Irwin's electroshock therapy
File Under: tech
July 23, 2007
- Tour The New White House Press Room
description: Enjoy our new smoke and mirrors
File Under: politics
July 16, 2007
- Live Earth Raises Awareness, Ticket Prices
description: Global Warming Sells Unbelievable Amount of Merch
File Under: life
July 9, 2007
- Fireworks Recall FAQ
description: No refunds for safe fireworks
File Under: tech
July 4, 2007
- What Not To Mix With Sunscreen
description: Dangerous Sunscreen Mixers
File Under: tech
June 18, 2007
- Bacteria Lobby For Extension of Five Second Rule
description: Scum receive help from lobbyists
File Under: tech
June 12, 2007
- Getting Into Credit Card Debt
description: A Debtful Life Could Be Yours
File Under: business
June 4, 2007
- Protesting High Gas Prices
description: What Would Lincoln Drive? Oh wait that's obvious
File Under: business
May 29, 2007
- DIY Resignation Letter
description: A form letter to let people know why you've left.
File Under: toys
May 21, 2007
- Drugs Stage Intervention for Pete Doherty
description: The drugs are concerned with the direction Doherty's life has been taking
File Under: life
May 14, 2007
- Homeland Security's Are You Safe To Fly? Terrorist Fun Quiz
description: Eyes on your own paper!
File Under: toys
May 7, 2007
- How Aging Rockers Stay Alive
description: It's not just snorting their ancestors
File Under: life
May 1, 2007
- Five Ways To Save the Earth (and take advantage of hot savings)
description: Earth Day Wishes from Industry
File Under: business
April 22, 2007
- President Bush Threatens Sanctions On Congressional Democrats
description: Democrats would be deprived of salaries, health insurance, food aid, the Sunday New York Times, and National Public Radio interviews
File Under: politics
April 19, 2007
- City Smackdown: Boston Vs. Portland
description: Hot Postal Workers or Sarcasm? You be the judge
File Under: life
April 2, 2007
- Leading Democratic Candidates As Liberal As Jesus
description: "These politicians are so close to Christ they're way out of the mainstream."
File Under: politics
March 26, 2007
- Eat Your Vegetables – A Government Conspiracy
description: Only 57,000 ketchup packets til you hit your quota
File Under: business
March 19, 2007
- Five Deadly Household Items (that will kill you sooner or later)
description: You'd be better off drinking gasoline from a lead canteen.
File Under: life
March 11, 2007
- Terrorists Cannot Decide on 2008 Presidential Candidate
description: The primary season has just begun, but none of the candidates have distinguished themselves as the type to ignite worldwide jihad.
File Under: politics
February 26, 2007
- A Review of the New CAFE Standards
description: Does Herbie pay 3 bucks a gallon?
File Under: business
February 24, 2007
- President's Day eCards, Volume II
description: Is Washington Your First Love?
File Under: toys
February 20, 2007
- Bloggers Root Out Liberal Crossword Editor
description: Next, the classifieds.
File Under: politics
February 15, 2007
- Secrets of the Senate Revealed
description:
File Under: politics
February 12, 2007
- FAQ On The Global Warming Hoax
description: The War on Climate Change is no more likely to succeed than the War on Legwarmers
File Under: tech
February 5, 2007
- Five Instruments Not Invited Back to Rock and Roll
description: It's perfect for polka, but is it right for rock?
File Under: life
January 29, 2007
- Health Insurance Coverage Generator
description: Tell us your symptoms, and we'll explain your coverage.
File Under: toys
January 22, 2007
- My Stroller Is Better Than Yours
description: An Infant Point-counterpoint
File Under: tech
January 15, 2007
- Lindsay Lohan's Doctor Removes Appendix, Stomach
description: Lohan looks forward to a future in which she doesn't have to worry about drinking on an empty stomach.
File Under: life
January 8, 2007
- Top Five Wars of 2006
description: There were both arthouse surprises and old standbys in the past year's bloody conflicts
File Under: life
December 29, 2006
- Sony Sues Santa
description: Sony Corporation has announced plans for a suit against Santa Claus, for illegally shipping the Playstation 3
File Under: business
December 26, 2006
- Axis of Evil to Divorce
description: Breaking up is hard to do.
File Under: life
December 22, 2006
- Taco Bell – E. coli Healthiest Item on Menu
description: The most likely cause of illness after eating Taco Bell is having eaten at Taco Bell
File Under: life
December 11, 2006
- Iraq Study Group Caught Cheating
description:
File Under: politics
December 4, 2006
- Fun Search Strings that Brought People to All Day Coffee
description: An exercise in server logs
File Under: toys
December 1, 2006
- What To Call The Iraq Civil War
description: Ways to Get Around Saying 'Multi-ethnic/Tribal/Religious/Sectarian Violence' In Iraq
File Under: politics
November 28, 2006
- Colombia Celebrates 42 Years of Civil War
description: An interview with the Rolling Stones of continuous conflict
File Under: life
November 20, 2006
- Rules For Preschool
description: The Dusseldorf School Focuses On Creational Play
File Under: life
November 14, 2006
- Democratic Congressman Wins Foot In Mouth Contest
description: Votes haven't been counted but insults start
File Under: politics
November 11, 2006
- Five Best Ways to Vote
description: I can't figure out how to win this stupid touchscreen voting game.
File Under: life
November 6, 2006
- Garrison Keillor and The Serial Killers of Youth
description: In the Minnesota where I grew up people didn't brag about bodies in the basement.
File Under: life
October 31, 2006
- Letter To Potential Voters
description: I'm writing this from a Mexican jail cell
File Under: politics
October 24, 2006
- Up In Smoke: The Year's Political Losers
description: You mean keeping cash in your freezer's illegal
File Under: politics
October 16, 2006
- Korean Nuclear Missile To Crush Godzilla, Capitalism
description: In celebration workers will be rewarded with shortened, 99-hour work week
File Under: tech
October 10, 2006
- Five Worst Superpowers
description: Too bad shield-throwing isn't an Olympic sport
File Under: life
October 3, 2006
- Electronic Voting Machines Accidentally Allow Choice
description: Free will will rock the U.S. election system
File Under: tech
September 25, 2006
- Bin Laden Killed By Spinach
description: A victory for leafy greens
File Under: politics
September 23, 2006
- Slashing Jobs, Ford Renews Commitment to Making Crappy Cars
description: Ford will use innovative, old technology to continue to be the leader in cars nobody wants
File Under: business
September 18, 2006
- Denial Of Claim
description: We hope to explain your coverage, and suggest how you might keep costs down in the future.
File Under: business
September 11, 2006
- Introducing the Inflatable Democrat
description: 'Polls say he's the life of the Party'
File Under: business
August 28, 2006
- Male Aphrodisiacs
description: Who needs black rhino horn powder when you have these household items?
File Under: business
August 25, 2006
- Pluto Election Stolen!
description: Plutocrats rig election - still a planet
File Under: tech
August 21, 2006
- International Laundry Symbols
description: What those Common Home Laundering & Drycleaning Symbols really mean
File Under: toys
August 18, 2006
- Saddam: a fan letter to Mel Gibson
description: seriously drop the beard.
File Under: life
August 13, 2006
- Landis Drug Test Proves French Hate American Cyclists
description: We always have problems like that – nanotechnology escaping from the lab. We should do a better job reporting it
File Under: tech
August 7, 2006
- Ask The Superhero
description: Captain Freedom Answers Lifes Puzzling Questions
File Under: life
July 31, 2006
- How To Protect Your Country Club During Hurricane Season
description: A FEMA Guide
File Under: life
July 24, 2006
- Totally Hot Chick at Town Beach Not Linked To Global Warming
description: No explanation given for straying beauties
File Under: tech
July 19, 2006
- World Cup Soccer Rules
description: An explanation of the beautiful game
File Under: life
July 2, 2006
- American Flag Needs Protection
description: Burning the flag can jeopardize homes, pants.
File Under: politics
June 27, 2006
- Biofuels Report Card
description: Which grass scores best?
File Under: tech
June 19, 2006
- Five Greatest Flags of All Time
description: An All Day Coffee Geography Lesson
File Under: politics
June 13, 2006
- A Survey Of the Less Popular Computer Keys
description: Happy Keyboard Appreciation Month!
File Under: tech
June 6, 2006
- Oregon Invites National Guard to California Border
description: Western State Proposes Full Ban on Californians, Shakespeare.
File Under: politics
May 30, 2006
- Chinese Officials Accidentally Censor Communism
description: People celebrate free press, free speech, and free cell phone minutes. Google slinks away in shame.
File Under: tech
May 23, 2006
- We Would Like To Preboard...
description: ...anyone who needs extra time adjusting to the unsettling 1970's decor
File Under: life
May 12, 2006
- American Drivers Discover Extra Seats in Cars
description: Rear seats in cars have potential to transport additional passengers to shared destinations
File Under: tech
May 8, 2006
- White House Reshuffles Office Of Office Supplies
description: Critical Opportunity to Change Paper Distributor
File Under: politics
April 30, 2006
- Paul McCartney Accidentally Clubbed by Seal Hunter
description: Seals releaved that British pop stars are considered viable food source.
File Under: life
April 24, 2006
- House Immigration Bill Expels Irish, Jews, Portuguese, Finns, Italians, Germans, Others
description: Sweeping Immigration Reform Comes as A Surprise to A Majority of Americans Who Find Themselves Without A Country.
File Under: politics
April 19, 2006
- Special Alert: Iraq Never Promised US a Rose Garden
description: A special report looks into the intelligence failures that led to a flowerless war
File Under: politics
April 9, 2006
- Media Still to Blame For Iraq War Difficulties
description: Analysis on the Problems of War
File Under: politics
April 4, 2006
- Government Marks War Anniversary With Free iPods
description: Winning the hearts and minds of the American people
File Under: politics
March 20, 2006
- Halitosis: A Class Action Suit
description: Don't suffer from mouth funk alone (not literally, of course. Please stay away)
File Under: business
March 13, 2006
- Climbing Team Summits K2 Without Sponsorship
description: An unusual accomplishment to achieve the world's second tallest mountain
File Under: life
March 7, 2006
- Peak Oil: Somebody Else's Problem
description: Questions and Answers About Another Global Issue You'll Successfully Avoid
File Under: tech
February 27, 2006
- President's Day eCards - Vol I
description:
File Under: toys
February 15, 2006
- Vice President 'Accidentally' Shoots Hunting 'Buddy'
description: Cheney hunt casualty count reaches all time low
File Under: politics
February 12, 2006
- Ford's New Zero Emissions SUV Powered by Union Labor
description: largest SUV approximates GVW of gray whale
File Under: tech
February 3, 2006
- Iranian Nuclear Woes Smack of NIMBY-ism
description: Neighborhood Uncomfortable with Nukes
File Under: politics
January 23, 2006
- US Affirms Commitment To Monarchy In Middle East
description: Recent Death of Kuwaiti Emir will Not Affect Inherited Government
File Under: politics
January 16, 2006
- House Majority Leader Steps Down "To Spend More Time With My Attorneys"
description: Tom DeLay wants to kick back, coach softball, and file motions.
File Under: politics
January 9, 2006
- Limbo Lost: End of a Spiritual Era
description: Homeless souls look for new lodging
File Under: life
January 3, 2006
- Reality Show Premise Generator
description: To aid our struggling television networks, who may not be able to pay those fatcat writers, this useful tool will create new and exciting reality shows.
File Under: toys
January 1, 2006
- Official Congressional Tour of Baghdad
description: See Progress Yourself with Westmoreland Tours
File Under: politics
December 19, 2005
- The O'Reilly France Boycott: Three Years Later
description: Talk Show Personality Cripples French Economy
File Under: life
December 11, 2005
- Christian Group Boycotts Narnia
description: Religious Leader Has A Real Problem With Felines
File Under: life
December 8, 2005
- LipoDiesel: Energy of the Future
description: From your tummy to my car
File Under: tech
November 30, 2005
- Litter And It Will Hurt
description: Instructions for Holiday Driving
File Under: life
November 21, 2005
- Pakistan and India Drop Claims on Kashmir
description: Nations Agree That Led Zepellin Song Isn't Worth Bloodshed
File Under: politics
November 16, 2005
- Stuffy Author Writes Self-Congratulatory Article to Celebrate Website Anniversary
description: Small-time website author bloviates in third person
File Under: business
November 8, 2005
- Panamanian Government Fears Presidential Visit
description: Rumors of Second Bush Invasion
File Under: politics
November 7, 2005
- Walmart Benefit Reductions: A Memo
description: Healthcare Special of the Day: Leeches
File Under: business
October 31, 2005
- Themes for Fiction Welcomed by the New Yorker
description:
File Under: life
October 26, 2005
- Bush Show Continues Despite Ratings Slump
description: Why don't they fire this turkey?
File Under: business
October 24, 2005
- Political Scandals Become Too Complicated
description: A plea for a return to murder and embezzling
File Under: politics
October 18, 2005
- Picking Your Friends
description: A pretty good method for selecting a Supreme Court Justice
File Under: politics
October 10, 2005
- What is RSS?
description: A Primer on Poor Spelling for the Internet Age
File Under: tech
October 4, 2005
- The Path Of Most Resistance
description: Fitness that scares you
File Under: life
September 27, 2005
- American Worms Capitulate Before North Korea
description: Dispatch from the North Korean News Service
File Under: politics
September 20, 2005
- Summertime, Red and Blue Style
description: End of Summer parties on both sides of the aisle
File Under: life
September 20, 2005
- Spin from Hurricane Aftermath Threatens Disaster
description: Critical Levels of Spin may cause Earth to leave its orbit
File Under: tech
September 13, 2005
- Computer Icons Overheard
description:
File Under: tech
September 6, 2005
- Financial Calculator for White Collar Crime
description: How much does crime pay
File Under: toys
August 23, 2005
- African Nation Aspires to Become Leader in High-Tech Scams
description: Scams are the new model for the developing world
File Under: business
August 15, 2005
- W is for...
description: The improved Who`s Who in America
File Under: politics
August 8, 2005
- Congress Unanimously Agrees to Summer Recess
description: Unique Partnership across Parties
File Under: politics
August 1, 2005
- CEO Gets 25 Years
description: Wall Street Stunned At the Unfair Treatment of Businessmen
File Under: business
July 14, 2005
- NASA Blows Up Comet During Summer Sweeps
description: Comet dead ... Ratings soar ...People love it.
File Under: tech
July 4, 2005
- Internal Monologue Of a Progressive-rock Fan Choosing His Wedding Song
description: Oh Fripp, how do I love thee (co-written with Wayne Gladstone)
File Under: tech
June 30, 2005
- Homeland Security Detains Terror Mastermind King Tut
description: Days of ancient horror have ended
File Under: tech
June 27, 2005
- Zombie Handbook
description: A sample from the award winning zombie lifestyle series
File Under: life
June 20, 2005
- Democrats Develop New Strategies to Defeat Selves
description: No longer depending on high paid consultants
File Under: politics
June 13, 2005
- Renew Johnny!
description: A Review like none other
File Under: politics
June 5, 2005
- Researchers claim: homework is lame
description: Students cheer, teachers jeer
File Under: politics
June 2, 2005
- The Nuclear Option
description: call your senator
File Under: politics
May 23, 2005
- Catch That Fly Fishing Hottie
description: A Salmon Identification Guide
File Under: politics
May 13, 2005
- Kansas scientific dictionary
description: the new science
File Under: politics
May 9, 2005
- More UN Video Games
description: fun for the whole family, cohort, or nation-state
File Under: politics
May 2, 2005
- Gay Marriage Solution
description: The less you know the better
File Under: life
April 18, 2005
- Creation Myth Comparison
description: Shop for your favorite theory
File Under: life
April 12, 2005
- Oil Drilling OK Under Suburban Malls
description: Nation Doesn't mourn
File Under: tech
April 4, 2005
- Congress Declares New Ultra-Mega Court
description: Supreme Court Justices looking for new jobs
File Under: politics
April 2, 2005
- Extreme Vacations for Wordsmiths
description: Ellipses Guiding Services offers the finest in extreme literary entertainment
File Under: politics
March 24, 2005
- Nokia Cellular Phone Instructions
description: A bunch of technical specs you should really ignore
File Under: tech
March 21, 2005
- Star Wars III - The Trailer
description: by guest writer Dr. Doom
File Under: tech
March 14, 2005
- Wizard Group Promises Healthy Social Security
description: Sponsored by Wall Street Week
File Under: tech
March 10, 2005
- Vatican: Can Democracy Thrive?
description: Freeing Vatican City from Tyranny
File Under: tech
February 28, 2005
- Fox Named Director of HenHouse Security
description: The chickens will be safe
File Under: tech
February 24, 2005
- Nader Spoils Iraqi Elections
description:
File Under: tech
February 17, 2005
- Save Our Irony
description: A drive to save this precious resource
File Under: life
December 20, 2004
- Democratic Strategy For Victory, 2008
description: The piece that started it all
File Under: politics
November 10, 2004
- Captain Freedom - Original LiveWire Show
description: The first performance of Captain Freedom at the Aladdin Theater, Portland OR
File Under: events, media
November 8, 2004
- Petrarch's Secret Crush
description: The Spamming of the Poet
File Under: business
May 15, 2004
- An Interview with a Legal Pot Farmer
description: What I learned in Colorado
File Under: life, business, politics
April 21, 2004
- Dominican Hand Jive
description: The Practice of Fake Medicine
File Under: life, business, politics
June 24, 2002
- Chronicle of A Death in Venice
description: Originally printed in Lynx Eye magazine
File Under: life, business, politics
June 1, 2002
copyright 2004-2009 G. Xavier Robillard
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