Ford's New Zero Emissions SUV Powered by Union Labor

Totally Hot Chick at Town Beach Not Linked To Global Warming

Special Alert: Iraq Never Promised US a Rose Garden

My Debut Novel, CAPTAIN FREEDOM: A Superhero's Quest for Truth, Justice and the Celebrity He So Richly Deserves will be published by Harper Collins in January of 2009.

• Breaking up is Hard to Queue
  description: A Netflix Breakup.
  Appeared November 30 2007 in Yankee Pot Roast
• Understanding Food Labels You Might Encounter At Whole Foods
  description: Organic or Organic Plus?
  Appeared November 8 2007 in McSweeney's
• More Practical Merit Badges
  description: Taser safety is very important.
  Appeared 15 January 2007 in Cracked
• When George Lucas Gets His Hands On Other Blockbusters (Written with Wayne Gladstone)
  description: A new and improved Casablanca.
  Appeared January 2007 issue of Flymf
• Impact Categories for Life Cycle Assessment Research of Seafood Production Systems: Review and Prospectus
  In face of continued declines in global fisheries landings and concurrent rapid aquaculture development, the sustainability of seafood production is of increasing concern.
  Appeared October 2006 in the International Journal Of Life Cycle Assessment
• Homeschool Progress Report
  description: Is Al Gebra like Al Qada?
  Appeared 27 September 2006 in McSweeney's
• Various Restaurant Menus Explain Themselves
  description: I'll have the sad, sad taco.
  Appeared 5 December 2005 at Yankee Pot Roast
• Behind the Bowl
  description: One last dinner with the folks before fleeing the country.
  September 2005 issue of Void Magazine
  Printer-friendly version

• Internal Monologue of a Progressive-rock Fan Choosing His Wedding Song
  description: Some thoughts should remain private.
  Appeared 30 June 2005 in McSweeney's

• How to Catch That Fly Fishing Hottie
  description: A Salmon Taxonomic Guide.
  Appeared 13 May 2005 in Happy Woman

• Extreme Vacations for Wordsmiths
  description: The finest in extreme literary entertainment.
  Appeared 24 March 2005 in Yankee Pot Roast

• Summer Vacation At Burning Man
  description: how I spent my summer vacation, dude.
  Appeared 14 September 2004 at McSweeney's Internet Tendency

• Inaugural Speeches from our Action Heroes
  description: They take their cue from Arnold.
  Appeared on 18 November 2003 in McSweeney's Internet Tendency

• Chronicle of a Death in Venice
  description: A fictional account of the last days of another dot-com.
  Appeared in Lynx Eye.